How to Spot a Romance or Online Dating Scam

By Morgan · Reviewed by CaseyLast updated August 8, 2026

A romance scam happens when someone builds an online relationship — often over weeks or months, on a dating site, social media, or even just by text — with the goal of eventually asking for money. The clearest warning sign is a request for money combined with a reason you can never verify in person: they claim to be overseas for work or the military, or say they have a sudden emergency. If someone you’ve never met in person asks you for money, it’s okay to say no and step back, no matter how genuine the relationship feels. This is an increasingly common scam, and falling for it says nothing about your judgment — these relationships are built carefully, over time, specifically to feel real.

Signs of a romance scam

• They avoid video calls or phone calls, or always have an excuse for why they can’t meet in person or on camera
• Their profile photos look professionally taken, or a reverse image search shows the same photos used elsewhere under a different name
• The relationship moves fast — declarations of love within days or weeks, even without meeting
• They claim to be traveling, overseas for work, in the military, or on an oil rig — always somewhere hard to verify
• Eventually, they ask for money: for a plane ticket, a medical emergency, customs fees, or to “help” with a business or investment
• They ask you to pay by gift card, wire transfer, or cryptocurrency — methods that are hard to trace or reverse

None of these signs alone means it’s definitely a scam — but several together, especially combined with a request for money, are worth taking seriously.

Step 1: Pause before sending any money

If someone you’ve only met online asks you for money, take a breath before responding. A genuine relationship can wait a day or two while you think it over or talk to someone you trust — a scammer’s urgency is often the biggest clue.

Step 2: Do a reverse image search on their photos

1. Save one of their profile photos to your device.
2. Go to a reverse image search tool (such as Google Images) and upload the photo, or search by image.
3. If the same photo appears under different names or on stock photo sites, it’s a strong sign the profile isn’t genuine.

Step 3: Try a video call

1. Ask to video call, ideally on short notice rather than something scheduled far in advance.
2. A repeated pattern of excuses — a broken camera, bad internet, being “in a secure area” — is one of the most reliable signs something isn’t right.

Step 4: Talk to someone you trust before sending money

1. Describe the situation to a friend or family member, even briefly.
2. Someone outside the relationship can often see warning signs more clearly than you can from inside it — this isn’t about doubting your judgment, it’s simply easier to spot a pattern from the outside.

Step 5: Never send money, gift cards, or financial information to someone you haven’t met in person

This is the single most protective habit: no matter how real the relationship feels, it’s safe to hold this line until you’ve met face-to-face.

If you’ve already sent money

You are not the first person this has happened to, and acting quickly can help:

• Stop all further payments immediately, even if they pressure you with more urgent stories.
• Contact your bank or card company to explain the situation — they may be able to stop or reverse a pending transfer.
• Report it to the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov, and to the dating site or platform where you met, so they can act on the account.
• Talk to someone you trust. Romance scams can involve real emotional attachment, and having support while you sort out next steps matters as much as the financial side.

Frequently asked questions